Writers Block

I have no material this week.

Seriously, there is nothing exciting, educational, or relatively humorous for me to write about this week. I have tried 3 times and each time I come up with nothing. This is what information I have, and it's giving me zippo.

1. Imogen's Mom had a birthday (soon she'll join the 30 and over crowd like me).
2. TTT is moving out.
3. I'm almost completely moved in.
   
4. Boobs, Injuries and Dr. Pepper, is by far the funniest blogger I have ever read.
5. When doing a Google search for "Infamous JP", my blog is the first link that comes up.
6. My kickball team lost this week 4-3, and we are now 0-2.
   
   

SEE nothing of remote interest. I hate weeks like this. I think it's because I am sick.

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Now playing: Matisyahu - King Without A Crown
via FoxyTunes

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Now playing: Gym Class Heroes - Biters Block
via FoxyTunes

Sometimes the past comes back...

And it makes you appreciate the changes that have been made since...

This weekend I was finishing up my move from my apartment into a house that I am moving into. While I was going through the "Keep or Throw Away" pile I ran into some old pictures of my ex-wife and I. Needless to say I went through a whole world of emotions at that very instant. Part of my got happy cause I remember the good times. Some of me got happier cause I remember the bad times. Then I got angry because of the WORST time. And finally, for a short time I got depressed cause I remembered the FINAL time.

BUT, instead of dwelling on the broken marriage and the emotions I was feeling at the time. Something rose up and me and I started thinking about what has happened in my life since the last time I ever saw her, and I couldn't help to smile.

I also started thinking about the important people in my life.

Here are the people that are important to me.

1. MY FAMILY. They are first and foremost the only ones that have always been there for me. And besides, when there are people who have actually seen what happens when you have a bowel, don't they have to hold a special place in your life.
2. IMOGEN'S MOM. She is probably the one person other than family I just could not do without. I have known her for almost 13 yrs and over the last year and a half have gotten closer. She is, without a doubt, my best female friend, if not my best friend.
3. PB. We are almost a kindred spirit. We are going through the same mess with spouses and have learned how to encourage each other. Whether it be talking about past stories or just saying "Here have another Select". He is definitely my best male friend. Well that and he is my roommate.
4. TTT. Even though I have know her for the shortest amount of time and she is considerably younger, I can do nothing but smile when ever I talk to her. Separated by thousands of miles and 3 time zones, she'll always make time for me and I always have a way to make time for her.
5. Ms. INNOCENT. She is the one who helped me find my creative/assh*le side, and how not to be a prick when it comes out. Another person who lives hours away from me, but I will always find time for when she calls.
6. Mrs. G. Ironically, she is the only married person of the bunch (in my age bracket) and the person I have known the longest. She's been there through thick and thin, ups and downs and still she hasn't kicked me out of her life.
7. Mr Solovacic. Those of you that know him, know why. The most down to earth, fun loving person I know. He will go out of his way to cook dinner for you, even when his bank account says that it can't. Yet he still finds a way. And trust me if you think you have some stories to tell, wait til you sit and talk with him. You'll just pop in to say hi, and four hours later you are stuffed and have heard some of the funniest things in your life.

And the absolute most important person in my life? Jesus!! I don't know I have made it this far, but he has gotten me through it all.

Are you serious?

Britney?! Come on Britney?!


Apparently Imogen's Mom has a fascination with Britney Spears (pre-K-FED). It don't get it. Even before K-FED, she had a 4 hour marriage to one of her dancers. In case you forgot about Jason Alexander Imogen's Mom, led me remind you of the Vegas wedding that was annulled MONTHS before the K-FED phase.

She holds Britney on such a high pedestal she threatened to dissolve our friendship. I hope she was joking.

Now if she would of said Jessica Alba or even Alyssa Milano, I would of gladly taken a backseat. But not Britney. You can't get rid of me that easy. I'm gonna make you see the errors of your ways Imogen's Mom.


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Now playing: Hinder - Lips Of An Angel
via FoxyTunes

Friday's Trash

No new sights but a great pic.

Haven't had many white trash sightings this week, but I did come along a great cartoon of White Trash that I'd love to share with you.

Say hello to my dream trailer park ho in water color ink...


And then Imogen's Mom Sent me this....


Who's White Trash Now?! It's ok I still love her.
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Now playing on iTunes: Evanescence - Cloud Nine
via FoxyTunes

Let's hope dreams don't come true

Hard Decisions...
During a point in everyones life they have to make decisions. Some easy, some difficult. Some are simple choices, like what to make for dinner or where to eat for lunch. Some take some thought. I can't remember the movie reference, but at one point, the question was asked; You are driving down the street and see your best friend, the woman of your dreams, and an eldery woman in need of medical assistance. What do you do?

Sunday night I had a dream along the lines of a having to make a distinction of who lives or dies. It still frightens me two days later.

It started with on a pleasant day with my favorite person, Imogen's mom, and her daughter. We were enjoying some fun times at the beach and laughing while a storm was rolling in. During our adventure we came apon a place where the sand and the boardwalk formed what looked like a deep bowl, almost like a sink hole. This hole was so deep that if someone were to be pushed into this pit, they would not be able to get out on their own.

Then the unthinkable happened.

As we were walking around the pit, a hard heavy wave knocked the three of us over. It felt as if the ocean waited til we were in the perfect position, and then sent it's version of a atom bomb to hurl us into a watery dungeon that nature had formed. And after the wave had subsided, I was forced into a precarious place where my judgment was needed.

As it turned out, after the wave had passes. I was safe still on the beach, but I was alone. I heard screaming and crying but could not see who was screaming.

I looked in the pit and there was Imogen's mom's daughter, struggling to keep swimming. But where was Imogen's mom? I looked around frantically and finally saw her. She had been captured by the sea, knocked unconsious and was being dragged out to the depths of the ocean. It was at this point, I had a choice to make. Save Imogen's mom, a person a care deeply about and don't know what I'd without this person and leave the daughter to her fate, or save the daughter and let Imogen's mom go, knowing that she would most definitely die.

Then I awoke in a cold sweat....

2 more Days til Busch Gardens 2007 Part II

Where is my Camera when I need it...
I miss my camera.

I used to have a very good digital camera that a former family member gave me as an engagement gift. Unfortunately, shortly after someone left, it disappeared. Coincidence? I think not. But that is neither here nor there. Reason I am so distraught is because I had a perfect picture taking opportunity. There they are sitting at the mouth of the Chesapeake Bay. Their anchors in the sand below. All prepared for their morning journey to Waterside in Downtown Norfolk for Harborfest. I'm talking about large sailboats. Not those fiberglass water ski's that have a sail and motor. I'm talking about Pirates of the Carribean, Master & Commander type sailboats.

I am there standing in the sand looking at these beauties when all around me people have their cameras out snapping away. I am sitting there just looking. I even called Imogen's Mom to tell her of what was going on and she wasn't able to come. Can you believe it? A moment so memorable and I have nothing but my memory to refresh them with.

I miss my camera.

Joke of the day...

Men, please read this if you go to bars or clubs:

Guys, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from a girl. There is a drug called "beer" that is essentially in liquid form.

The most effective varieties are being shipped in from other countries. "Beer" is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to convince their male victims to have sex with them.

The shocking statistic is that this "beer" is available virtually anywhere! All girls have to do is buy a beer or two for almost any guy and simply ask the guy home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are literally rendered helpless against such attacks. Please! Forward this to every man you know... There is safety in numbers...

Sadie Danielle Update....
Check you this update on Sadie Danielle. Such an cute little one. Can't wait to go see her for the first time. Caleb was so excited about the arrival of the new baby that when "Mommy was feeding the baby and explaining to Caleb about how she eats. Caleb pulled up his shirt and said “Caleb’s turn.”". LOL!!!

Day 2 of the Mini Vacation

Late Excuses....
Everyone has heard of the outrageous late excuses that have been used. Apart from the I overslept and traffic excuses, most companies rarely hear many oddball excuses. I say most, because, where I work it seems like a new excuse comes everyday. This morning our secretary passed out a list of them. Here they are....

AGI Acceptable List of "I was late because" excuses.

1. Employee was poisoned by mother-in-law.
2. Employee's grandmother died (again).
3. Employee was feeling all th symptoms of his expecting wife or daughter.
4. Employee called from his cell phon, saying he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and that no one was around to let him out.
5. Employee tried to re-wire car electrical system to add a few dozen lights and now car will not run.
   
6. Employee's house burned down.
7. Employee's mother was in jail.
8. Employee's arm hurts.
9. Employee was sad or distracted. (I'm proud of this one)
10. Employee had to take son(s) to court AGAIN.
11. Employee has fallen and can't get up.

It's alive!!!
I think I created a monster... She started a blog. She knows who she is so I won't mention names (we'll call her Imogen's future mom for now thought), but now she is going to be blogging as well as myspacing. What have I done? And you know what is worse... I am not sorry!





joke of the day...
A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I''ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, "What would you like to talk about?"

Oh, I don't know," said the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy thought about it and said, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don''t know sh*t?"

Vacation at the Office.

While the boss is away....
This is going to be one interesting week. I get to have sort of a mini vacation this week with out taking off of work and with out going anywhere. It is going to be relaxing, fun and it will be worth it. How did that happen you ask? Well... the president and vice president of the company got the privilege of taking a trip outside of the United States for a job. This means that unlike any other time that they are out of the office, it would be an extraordinary chore for them to call into the office and ruin the fun that we are having. So that means, that instead of hustling and bustling to get things done, I can chill and slow down a little. I can also goof off a little more...

Update on me...
Yesterday someone corrected me about something... I did not suck at marriage, but rather I just was a victim.

My Weekend at PB's

The adventures of JP
This past weekend was an semi eventful weekend. My original plans included the beach, going to work and being one lazy mofo. By Friday night, they were totally rearranged.

I ended up not doing a single one of those things. Instead I helped my friend set up his pool for the summer. I had no idea exactly how time consuming it would really be and the pain it would cause. By the time we were done cleaning, drying, setting the pool up for the water, getting new hoses and filling the damn thing, it was 10 at night and still couldn't even swim in the damn thing til the chlorine took effect. I even got a freaking sunburn cause i made the mistake of taking my shirt off. In the end it was all good cause there was plenty of beer to drink to forget, plus I'll also get the benefit of diving into that pool next week. (BTW, that is a picture of the type of pool, not the pool itself)

I will say one thing however... I will have to give it up to Imogen's Mom for putting hers up by herself (or so she claims). I was so tempted to drive over there and say something, but I didn't want to interrupt her party.

more about me
I told you that when I find out more about myself, I'd let you know so here we go...

I'm a diehard Cubs fan. Laugh if you want, but even in losing, I keep the hope alive.
I do take risks, but there is one I want to take that I just haven't yet. I dream about doing it all the time, but I'm not ready yet.
I'm still afraid to go back to church. It's been 7 months since I've been and the hurt from the last one I went to is still fresh.
I Love Papa John's Pizza.

The Chronicle Begins

I don't know why I am here or what I really want to say, but I decided to begin writing so I can have my own personal "journal" that people can read. I guess it's a way to let people into my world just a little bit. Maybe even a way for my to put my thoughts down on what life in my world is really like.

I guess I'll start this by telling everyone about me just a little. I should put this on MySpace, but that would be too much work.

So who am I? Sometimes I am not sure, but from what I can think...
I am that strange guy that used to say stupid things in high school to get a reaction even if he didn't mean them.
I am that want to be jock that can hold his own in so many sports but excelled in none of them. I'll never be an MVP, but I am that integral part of the lineup that never gets traded. I love baseball the most.
I am a leader that hates to lead.
I am a romantic guy that has never had a real romance.
I want someone I can not have and have been pursued by someone that I don't want.
I'm quiet most of the time and sometimes I don't know when to shut-up.
I am a spirtual person that hates religion. I've been hurt by church, but know I should go back to one somedays.
I love to drink beer, but never more than 2. Tequila is my friend and Vodka is my Frienemy.
I act crazy when I am drunk and even crazier when I am not.
I love to eat, and I hate to cook, even though I am good at cooking.
I am a loner, but I love being with friends.
I get sick on roller coasters but I love to ride them.
I sucked at marriage, but I want to get married again.
I love kids, but have none of my own.
I like to make fun of people and when people make fun of me.
I have the craziest laugh when something is real funny, and when it happens, people think i am hyperventilating.

Well that's all I can come up with... If I think of anything else, I'll add more later.