What does America have that no other country has?

Answer: WHITE TRASH PEOPLE

I would like to think that I am not a judgmental person, but there are some things people should not do, and when I see them I have got to comment.

Yesterday was one of those days.

On my way back to the office from my lunch break, I ran into the grocery store to get some band aids for my paper cut fingers. How was I to know I was going to need gauze for my eyes too.

There it was in front of me when I walked in. The most hideous disgusting thing I've seen since my early morning constitutional. WHITE TRASH

Ladies, for the sake of yourself and those around you, please DO NOT ever wear a wife beater meant for a man 6'6 tall if you are only 5'2. And if you ever are really crunked up and think that is ok to do,PLEASE also do us the favor of washing the bra you are wearing. Dirty white just does not look good on white skin, I don't care what hallucinogen you are on.

P.S.
I do want to give a White Trash Shout Out to Imogen's Mom's Sister. May all your teeth turn black by the time you are 30.

P.P.S. Feel free to comment with your White Trash Moments if you'd like.

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John it is...

And I thought I was being creative.

After two weeks of voting, the polls have closed and it was a landslide. Much to my chagrin, My favorite nickname was thoroughly defeated by a whopping 5 votes. So from this day forward, I will address myself as John.

I will not however change my blog title. You don't like it you can kiss my natural "I may be white, but I'm not black" ass!!

Now for the next poll question.....

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A peeing roof.

I think the roof had too much to drink last night and decided to release itself in public view.
(taken during a thunderstorm right before the power went out)

Please Don't Forget to Tip

And you think waiters/waitresses have it bad.

You know it amazes me how cheap people can really be.

Let me explain... Recently I have taken on a 2nd job as a Pizza Delivery driver for some extra cash for my trip to California. I'm thinking, "Ok, if I work Friday and Saturday nights I'll make some BIG bucks, especially since I know the area, I know pretty much every street in within where I'd be delivering. Man was I WRONG!!!

Come on people how hard can it be? Drivers are just like waiters except we bring your food to your home.

Not only do we have to bring your food you hot, but we have to use our own personal vehicles, which means we have to have insurance and to pay for gas (okay half). All because you don't want to get out of your homes to go get it.

Yes we get paid hourly, just like waiters, and yes we get a commission of what we deliver, but if that was my only means of income, you would never get your pizza cause I wouldn't have a car (or at least insurance for my vehicle). Hell in my first four days of being a pizza slave, the average income, came to about $5 and hour. BELOW minimum wage!!!

So be considerate people, and extra dollar or two on your $20 pizza order really helps.

Cheesin @ Work

I was Tagged

I am doing this, yet I don't know why...

TAG! The rules are: Once you have been tagged, you write a blog with ten, weird, random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end you choose 10 people to be tagged, list their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave a comment that says, "You are tagged" and tell them to read your latest blog.

1. I shave only once a week (on Sundays) simply because I like to have the scruff look on Fridays and Saturdays.
2. I’m older than one of my uncle’s. How scary is that.
3. I once brought 4 can of green beans with me on a trip to Jamaica and ate all of them right out of the can.
4. I have had my bed for 5 years now and have only slept on it for a year.
5. I was married for 15 months. She was married for 4.
6. I refuse to ever go through a McDonalds drive through again. They always take too long and never get it right. Hell I don’t know why I even still eat there.
7. I have deleted my MySpace page 3 times. I have decided I will not make it 5.
8. Tequila is my friend, Vodka is my frienemy, and I think water hates me.
9. I order 2 things when I go to restaurants. Steak or Hamburgers. I will get one or the other in some fashion or another.
10. I bob my head when I am making a joke (TY Maria)
    

As for who's next...

1. Maria, because I want to see if there is something I don’t know.
2. Jackie, there has got to be something she hasn’t told me yet.
3. Sarah G, because I read her blog all the time, bout time she read mine.
4. Dezi, maybe it’ll give her something to do.
5. Sierra, cause I know she has no time on her hand to do this.
6. Sarah W., she gets real bored sometimes and she may actually do this.
7. Casey, She’s got to have something to do cause work always sucks
8. Whitney, she thinks she so smart, I don’t think she can come up with 10 things.
9. Amanda, it’s been so long since I’ve seen her. Somethings have got to have changed since she was playing with barbies in her bedroom
10. Paul cause I have to get at least one guy to do this.
    

A Poll of Importance

Who should I be?

For those that may be interested in voting, I have posted a poll off to the left of what the best nickname I have is.

I guess I'm really bored.

That or I am a huge nerd and I have nothing better to do than ask a stupid poll question. (That may be my next poll question, depending on the popularity of the one I have now).

So vote once and if you can vote twice.

Immigration

Those that know me, know I am not a big political agenda type of person, but this is a subject that really does irk me. With that said....

Let's say I break into your house

I don't know where this came from exactly, but this lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials in ages!!! It explains things better than all the baloney you hear on TV.

Her point:
Recently large demonstrations have taken placeacross the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration. Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely.

Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.

Let's say I break into your house. Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors. I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).

According to the protesters:
You are Required to let me stay in your house.
You are Required to add me to your family's insurance plan.
You are Required to Educate my kids.
You are Required to Provide other benefits to me & to my family.
(my husband will do all of your yard work because he is also hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part).

If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my RIGHT to be there. It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm a hard-working and honest, person, except for well, you know, I did break into your house and what a deal it is for me!!!

I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of cold, uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and bigoted behavior. Oh yeah, I DEMAND that you learn MY LANGUAGE!!! so you can communicate with me.

Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?! Only in America.

If you agree, pass it on ( in English). Share it if you see the value of it.

If not blow it off......... along with your future Social Security funds, and a lot of other things.

A Dangerous Site or Mother Nature at Work

Check out that sky

A small package

This guy is transporting a bicycle on a car trailer?!

Big trailer small package?! Any comments ladies?

Looking up to a Pea

Doesn't look so good from down here.
"If he calls me one more time, I'm seriously thinking about going in there and smacking him!!!"

I felt so big and bad and yet aggravated at that time. I saw it in my head. The phone would ring. He'd say something that would just set me off my rocker and then I'd walk over there calmly, collected. I'd look him dead in the eye, and say "You've pissed me off for the last time old man!" Swing away and then proceed to walk right out the front door proud that I had done it, realizing that my job was just lost.

Apparently God didn't like that idea.

Less than 3 seconds after I made that statement to my co-worker, guess who called. That's right, The Devil himself. There he was ready to pounce. Knowing that he finally had his chance to get rid of me, he was going to say something really fierce. Something so upsetting, that even a "Crips vs. Bloods" gang fight would look tame. IFC eat your heart out, the July 10 massacre was about to start!!

Then the words no one with boiling red blood ever wants to hear are uttered.

"Hey John, just wanted to say thanks for your help"

NO!!!!!!!!!! Don't say that!!!

All of a sudden I went from Andre the Giant (Big, Bad, Hairy) to Chicken Little (short and small).

How could you?!

It's like sucking air through a straw

Roger Federer I am not!!!

Forehand, backhand, forehand, forehand, drop shot, backhand. That is what I did yesterday. That's right I played tennis. Inspired by the Wimbledon Final of Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal, I got out there and played tennis for the first time in years.

That was also sequence it took for me to realize how freaking out of shape I really am. Cause after just 6 strokes and 15 minutes, I came up, hands on my hips breathing heavy and sweating like a fat man rolling out of bed. Granted it was 90 some degrees and the sun was shining right on my face, but it just proved how little I've done since the high school when I was able to last for 2 hours and still probably go another hour.

My dreams of making a pro tennis debut are ruined. First No American Idol, now this. My ideas for becoming famous are starting to dwindle.

My next idea is to dethrone Tiger Woods... Let's hope that they allow mulligans on the Pro Tour.

No Pain No Gain

My A**!!!,

That is what people tell you to push it and to work out harder. Tell that to my knee.