I$ That What I Think It I$?!?!?!

Was it $ent from Heaven?!

It was right there for anyone to $ee. Any bum, crackhead, or 420 friendly per$on could of $een it. Donald Trump would of picked it up too. But tonight wa$ not their night.... It Wa$ Mine!!!

After working at my new 2nd job, I came home, hopped in the $hower and got ready for the fe$tivitie$ ahead.

A co$tume "party" at Granby Theatre (even though I wasn't in costume), a $hot of Tequila and a Corona would not $top me from this bounty, it just made the timing perfect.

A packed Bugatti'$ and a clo$ed pizza place, $aved me from mi$$ing my prize.

A$ we headed back to the car there it wa$. Right there, on the bench at 2:3o in the morning, it wa$ there for the taking. I grabbed it up and $tuffed it in my pocket.

Then back in$ide the car, I in$pected it clo$ely to make $ure it was real and $ure enough it wa$.

$300 dollar$ ca$h money just lying there. Tonight Wa$ My Night!!!

Into the Night

I love this song.....

Kiss it and Make it better

Kids say the darnest things...

Dialogue between my nephew and his mom.

Nephew: Mommy I have a boo boo.
Mom: Aww... You want me to kiss it and make better?
Nephew: Yeah will you kiss it mommy?
Mom: Of course son, anything for you.
Nephew: Mommy, kiss my butt...

NOW THAT is PRICELESS!!!

How Lame Am I?

Decide for yourself.

I got tagged to do this survey.
There are rules: I cannot repeat anything the other survey taker said and I have to list "5 things that I do, did or like that I’m proud of, but that others may think are totally lame". Plus, I get to tag 5 people to do the same.

1. I Love Spanish olives with the pimento in the center. I've bought a large jar at the grocery store before and over the next week/ten days, eaten every single one, one by one, straight out of the jar.
   
2. I was on the tennis team and swim team in high school. In my junior, if I hadn't talked to the athletic director of the high school, there would not of been a tennis team at all.
   
3. I have complete conversations in my sleep with myself. When I was younger, my friends mom thought there were 2 other people in the room because I changed voices while I was talking to portray different characters.
4. Before the age of 28, the only liquor to ever touch my lips was Peppermint Schnapps and that was only once when I was 10.
5. I have a logo that I used to use when I was heavily into art. Someday soon, I am going to get that logo tattooed on my left arm somewhere. I have even thought about getting it trademarked.
   

I hereby tag: Imogen's Mom, DC, Nic, Charmed, Kitten

We are the Rockies of the Kickball world.

You other teams watch out!!

That's right you guessed it... once again we were victorious in the wonderful world of kickball.

• I wish we could say we played a great game.... We didn't.
• I wish I could say that the other team sucked.... They didn't
• I would like to say that we would be able to beat the team that played time and time again.... We probably would lose more times than not.
• I would LOVE to say we beat them by playing sound fundamental kickball (that doesn't sound right saying it).... but the truth is, I can honestly say that I gave it my all.

So you want to know how we won? They were one female short. Yes I said it. We won on a technicality. But hey a win is a win so we'll take it.

So after last night, we are officially 5-3 and moving up in the rankings.

Go 5th Graders!!

Cookie time

Another Nephew Story

I went to my dad's house again last night for a small little birthday bash for his girlfriends daughter with just my family and her family. It was nice and quiet at first. We went to a Mongolian barbecue and I stuffed myself with tons of noodles and meat. Nothing real exciting to blog about. Well at least not until my youngest nephew started getting that I'm tired but I refuse to go to sleep cause I know you'll have fun without me grumpiness going on.

You parents out there know what I am talking about. First he wants to sit on "Nanny's" Lap, then he wants to sit on "GreePa's" lap. Next he wants to sit on the floor. He's going from here to there and telling us what he wants to do, but doing the exact opposite. This is all within three minutes. We finally got him to settle down in "Nanny's" lap and was starting to fall asleep.

It was at this point the waitress decides, "Hey guess what it is cookie time."

"Woman are you effing mad?! Can't you see we have a 18 month old stubbling around? Do you not know what fracas you are about to cause bringing sweets to a table within site of him? I blame you for what is about to happen next!"

The insanity hit before that plate even hit the table. I kid you not when I say this, but the plate had to be an inch from the table, when my nephews eyes popped open and bugged out. Instinct told him there were sweets within grasp and he was not going to miss it.

Before anyone could even grasp the concept of wanting to have a cookie themselves, he looked over the plate and pointed to the cookie he wanted. They were these little mini cookies. Some were chocolate chip and the other half were white chocolate chip, but since white chocolate chip was foreign to him, he went with plain chocolate chip (this will be key later).

He gets his cookie and he was happy, as were we. The rest of the table then gets some cookies and by the time we had our selection down. There were 3 white chocolate chip cookies left.

Nephew, after finishing his first cookie, naturally wants another one. So he gets up, walks over to where the plate is looks at me and with the saddest eyes asks if he can have another cookie. Looking over to mom to make sure it's ok, I grab the plate and bring it to his level to let him choose.

He looks it over, sees that there are no plain chocolate chip cookies left, begins to cry. Mommy instinct takes over and she begins to ask him "What's wrong, I thought you wanted a cookie".

Satan himself would of been scared at what happened next.

He sat there, bugged his eyes out, rose his eyebrows 6 inches above his head into little horns, turned his face purple and screamed "I don't want that cookie!!!!"

Um... Check Please!!
----------------
Now playing: Gym Class Heroes - On My Own Time (Write On!)
via FoxyTunes

The ball keeps on rolling.

Another win for the 5th graders!!!

That's right, we pushed our winning streak to 3 games baby and we are now 4-3. Not only did we win 7-2, we flexed some defensive muscle with great plays from both the guys and girls. AG made another spectacular catch in right field. MS was once again the infield MVP. Both EA and AS held on to the ball when it came their way, and of course.... I threw two people out myself. We are coming together magnificently.

Up next is the The Gang, and they too are going down. If we keep up our winning ways, not only will we be playing in the playoffs, we will make it without having to play the wildcard tournament.

***UPDATE***
I almost forgot to mention this... If you were ever planning to come visit one of the games and watch our great team in action, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT BRING A STYROFOAM COOLER!!!

After our game last night, we were getting together for a team picture and were surrounding a cooler to take this picture.

Unfortunately, AS thought it would be a good idea to park her rear on top of cooler. This cooler was not meant to carry more than 50 lbs, and AS well, is not 50 lbs.

So right as the picture is being taking, AS flops right on top of the cooler and without missing a beat, the cooler collapses under the weight.

Poor cooler. it never saw what was coming.

That Boy is SMART!!!

Yeah that is MY NEPHEW!!

My youngest sister and her son, who is a year and a half, are in town for two weeks on vacation and we were catching up last night over dinner with the rest of the family. He's a very smart kid for his age and is aware of EVERYTHING going on around him.

While eating some of the best chicken I've had in a long long long time, mother and son were telling numerous stories of things that had happened recently. Most were cute little stories about balls and cars and other little boy stories that you just can't help but laugh at. I'm serious, how can you not laugh at someone that young telling a story about the new police car toy he got with the enthusiasm of a 30 yr old winning the lottery. Talk about excitement.

During one of those stories, he begin to tell of a car that he had seen one day that was going really fast. And then out of that little boys mouth came the following words (spelled the exact way they came out of his mouth) "And the caar went scccccuuuuurrrr". That boy just described a car coming to a sudden stop with a sound that was almost realistic. I'm telling you that boy is a genius.

Bill Gates... go ahead... pass the torch now. It's inevitable. You are going down!!!

"Hi I'm new here. Gimme your credit card!!

Stop the Madness!!

I haven't had much to blog about lately, simply cause things have been pretty low-key for the past week and a half. It seems that every once in a while everyone seems to go through dry spells in their life and my spell is going on right now. I'm pretty sure there certain things I could mention like my sister coming into town tomorrow and my plans to hang with one of my kickball teammates tonight at the club, but I feel it would be more entertaining if something interesting happens and I'd tell you about it.

That being said... I have some a grievance that I have been dying to express

MySpace Spammers, you are not fooling anyone!!!

Ok, I know for those of us that have a MySpace, I know you know the process. You have friends that have MySpace accounts, you get their info and add them as a friend and then proceed to check them out every once in a while to see what is going on in their life.

Some of your friends you talk to on a daily basis either through MySpace or through some other means.

Some you catch up once in a while with my sending small little comments like "Hi! Haven't talked to you in a while. What's new?"

Some you really don't talk to but will browse their profile every once in a while and look at their new pics, see which friend recently posted a comment and read their bulletins cause she's pregnant, their getting married, or to announce to the MySpace world that those new pics have been posted.

Then during your MySpace stalking, you see a friend you haven't talked to in umpteen years, or you see a musician you like and decide to "friend request" them and build your Friend List.

That is the normal behavior of a MySpacer.

Sometimes I see that little "New Friend Request" Icon and think "Sweet, Jessica or Jimmy from Norview saw my profile and added me". Then much to my dismay, I see this hot blond name Julianna or Ariel or Paige has added me.

No I did not just become the luckiest man in the world and some gorgeous plastic endowed has seen my scruffy soul-patched face so irresistible she has to have me now. Instead it really is just some dude in Kuala Lampur or Tokyo, Japan trying to lure in some of those desperate 40yr old men still living in his mom's basement with a comic book store or some computer business who hasn't gotten laid since Reagen was president.

Seriously, do you think I'll actually fall for this? Sure I'll check the profile to see it's genuine. And each time I just laugh cause the profiles all read the same.

"Hi! I'm new to MySpace and I want to meet some new people. Here is a link to some webcam site with girls in Brazil who we've kidnapped and forced to show their coochie on the internet for peanuts while we get paid big money from your credit card you sick old man from America.!!"

Any man with a brain knows this scam... but every day it happens. What's worse is that there are men that actually do it.

Now don't get me wrong, I like looking at beautiful women just like any straight man would, but if I have to pull out my Mastercard to do it, then I really need to evaluate my life.

Never has a song been so true as what I am listening to right now.....

I feel like slapping a B*tch today!!
----------------
Now playing: Ludacris - Slap
via FoxyTunes

OOH Yeah!!!

Winning Streak Baby!!!

My kickball team is on a roll. Last night, we once again came up victorious, beating one of the better teams in the league, 3-2. It was a great game, and I played much better defensively. That makes 2 in a row baby and we are now 3-3 and are coming together. Monday's email tirade really gelled us and we came to the field feeling like an actual team.

My stats include 1 hit and got to 3rd. Unfortunately I did not score. Defensively, I was able to actually catch the one ball that came my way this time and not have it bounce off of my face.

Afterwards, the streak kept rolling as we excelled at flip cup and won 6-2 against the same team.


It's a shame we only play once a week.

It only took the word "booty" to get some interaction

God I love this team.

The following is a series of emails that came out this week after getting our weekly kickball update. Up to this date, this is only time that all of our team has gotten in on a conversation. The names have been changed to protect the innocent and the retarded

• Congratulations on the win on Saturday! It was tough game, but we pulled through... BS was the scrimmage MVP. He managed to advance a runner to third by purposely tripping on the way to first base and rolling on the ground causing much confusion. He even managed to advance a runner on a different field with his shenanigans. Way to take one for the team. Most of us would have relied on the kick to advance the runner, but not Billy. Our game on Wednesday is at 8:30pm again on field C. We are playing against a solid team, the Rockstars, but we can beat them. Let me know if you can't make it. Get a good night sleep on Tuesday and be ready to kick some Rockstar booty! Principal Z
• Are principals allowed to use such terms as "booty"? AG
• I think thats sexual harrassment. Watch it Mr. Principal or you’re getting slap with a lawsuit ... pervert. EA
• Z's new name is "Perverse Principal" TB
• Out of all the emails that we have received from Z, it's only when he uses the word "booty" that people start responding and taking notice. Says a lot about the mindframe of our team :) SK
• Wow, Z uses the word "booty" ONCE and it brings out the 5th Grader in all of us! Are we on the perfect team or what?! JP
• Who doesn't like booty? Whether used in Pirate slang ”ARRRR THATS ME BOOTY!!!" Or in Rap songs "DAMN SHORTY'S GOT'A FINE BOOTY!!!" Or the simple “I GOT SOME BOOTY LAST NIGHT!!!" I for one applaud our "Principal" for inspiring our youth to expand their minds and their BOOTIES. MS
• Southern Cal's quarterback is John David Booty. Can we say 'Booty' in that context or is that sexual harassment, too? If we think it is, I say we file a class-action lawsuit against ESPN because they've been talking about that guy all season! I'm confident that our teammate, Ja P, will provide solid legal representation in this matter. We're all going to be rich... DB
• Booty rhymes with Doody. TB
• Please note when I said "slap" I meant "slapped." Apparantely I did not pay attention in 1st grade grammar ... let alone 5th. EA
• hahahaha or spelling :) SK
• Shit! Apparently! Fuck you! EA
• Great now we are talking about "Booty Slapping"! That sounds like a 6th grade level to me. JP
• tb said midframe.... and ts's email address has the word cox... hehe... cox.... i for one, refuse to expand my booty as ms put it, no matter what you heard, prison was a long time ago.... and NOTHING happened. anyone else notice that DP spelled his own name wrong on the team roster? just throwing a buddy under the bus... good times. BW
  

CAN I SAY IT AGAIN?! GOD I LOVE THIS TEAM?!