No Words to Describe This.

Just Watch



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Listening to: Timbaland - Time (feat. She Wants Revenge)
via FoxyTunes

They are taking over the world next!

We got our own gang in the office.

I think my office may soon be the headquarters for a notorious gang. They don't have a gang name yet, but they sure have their colors.

This guy even had a Spinning Superman on his belt.

Osama-bin-Laden you better watch out! They are coming for you first!!!

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Listening to: Jason Mraz - Good Orderly Direction
via FoxyTunes

A little more about the number change.

I did have a little fun with it.

While in the long run, I ended up changing my number, I did try to have a little fun with it. I swear there is another person on the other end pushing the buttons trying to make it seem like a conversation, so excuse any repetition that you see. It's really how the conversation went down.

ME: Hello?
"CHLOE": Hi How are you?
ME: Not to well. I have a rash and the ointment is just not working.
"CHLOE": I'm sorry hun, maybe Chloe can help.
ME: You know how to fix this?
"CHLOE": Chloe has the answer for you.
ME: No way! The doctor said it was herpes or some sort of genital wart and I'd never get rid of it.
"CHLOE": You are kidding your self when you say no.
ME: Okay?... Well you going to help me out or not?
"CHLOE": Is there a question you have for me?
ME: Yeah actually, do you know who I got this shit from?
"CHLOE": Is there a gentleman in your life?
ME: Why yes there is.
"CHLOE": Is there a baby involved?
ME: Damn you are good! Actually yes!
"CHLOE": Did he play football in highschool?
ME: He still does, but yeah....
"CHLOE": Yep it's him.
ME: That MUTHAFUCKA SAID HE WAS CLEAN!!!
"CHLOE": The cards here tell me you have an anger problem.
ME: HUN, YOU DON'T NEED CARDS TO SEE THAT! I'M GONNA KILL THAT BASTARD
"CHLOE": I am seeing a death card.
ME: NO FUCKING SHIT!!! I JUST TOLD YOU I'M GONNA KILL HIM, NOT A VERY GOOD PSYCHIC ARE YOU?!
"CHLOE": You need to go to the hospital, right now or you are in danger.
ME: *gulp* Danger?!
"CHLOE": Yes I see a death in 3 days.
ME: Oh shit!
"CHLOE": I love you!!!
ME: Thanks hun.
"CHLOE": Is there a secret you are not telling me?
ME: Well I guess you were going to find out sooner or later. Um..... are you sure you want to hear this?
"CHLOE": Chloe has the answer for you.
ME: Well ok.... um....
"CHLOE": Is there a question you have for me?
ME: Did you know I knew your son?
"CHLOE": Chloe knows all.
ME: Did you know that it was my house he was coming to?
"CHLOE": I'm sorry could you speak up.
ME: He gave this to me.
"CHLOE": I am seeing a death card. *click*

Someone please help me. I think she may have put a voodoo curse on me.

My own blogger confession...

I have a little bit of Redneck in me.

This is probably why I find this funny. If you have a little redneck in you, you just might chuckle too...

Don't hate me. At least I didn't go to my family reunion looking for a wife....... this year.

"Hi How are You?" "I love You!" "Is there something you have to ask me?"

"I see that you have an anger problem", " You need to get yourself to a hospital soon or you are going to die in 3 days"

This is the type of bullshit I was getting for the past 3 weeks.

Somehow someway, "Chloe" the psycho psychic got my phone number and felt a need to call me. This started about 2 weeks ago, obviously I didn't die.

While I usually laugh at these type of encounters and pay them no mind. This one became a problem. As each day went by, the phone calls became more and more frequent. It started with one phone call a day, then to two and gradually til it reached the point that between the hours of 8am and 3 pm, I would get somewhere between 10 and 20 calls a day.

One day, I got tired of it and called my cell phone company to see if I could find out who it was and somehow press charges against them. While I was on the phone, they called me 7 times in the matter of 5 minutes. Unfortunately they had blocked the number so there was no way that they could find out who it was.

So to combat the nonsense and to keep from getting the ridiculous phone calls and having to press ignore every time, I changed my number.

Now I have to call everyone to let them know I changed my number. Well except for the credit card companies and bill collectors....

Things not to think while in a meeting with your boss...

This morning, my boss called me in for a meeting with 3 other people. During the meeting the following phrase was uttered:

"18 inches seems unrealistic, so I'd like to see 6"

My first thought:

"So would your wife"

The momentary silence and light chuckling that followed indicated that I was not the only one thinking along the same lines....

I'm falling...

Was it just a dream?

We have all had those dreams before. While in a deep deep sleep, you find yourself falling. What happens if you land in that dream do you die or is it just a dream? Does your dream mean something? Those questions will always be asked and I find myself asking myself one of those questions today.

Yesterday, while laying in bed due to a sore throat, a fever and muscle cramps all over my body, I had a dream. There I was just walking when all of a sudden a rolling pin gets under my foot and I begin to fall. Before I could land, I woke up. However, my mind still had that falling feeling and when I put my hands down to brace myself, I ended up throwing myself out of my bed onto my floor. I think that my have hurt myself worse.

Go Kansas!!

For once I can say that I had it right!!! SWEET!!!

Many of you may remember that at the beginning of March, I placed my kiss of death on the Kansas Jayhawks by picking them to win this years NCAA National Championship. This year, my kiss of death turned out to be the Kiss of Victory as they ended up beating the Memphis Tigers 75-68 in O.T. I think my luck is turning around. Alright who wants me to pick the next champion?

Let the Games Begin

Just keep your balls away from my face

Last night the kickball season started once again. It was fun despite losing 10-1. I wish I could say we are going to field a competitive team this year, but I really doubt it. It's ok though. We still have flip cup.

My last post *UPDATE*

Farewell to you all.

Today will be my last post. Last night I decided to give up blogging. This decision stems from an arguement that I had last night with someone I care about. She is near and dear to me and was very offended by a couple of the posts. I have tried to use abbreviations and false names, but she always knew what was going on. So for the sanctity of my relationship with her, I will be ending my blog. For those that you that I have come into contact with and have developed a friendship, you have my cell and most likely I have yours. For those of you that don't I'm sorry and I bid you adieu.

Thank You for the fun times.

JP

*UPDATE*
God I love April Fools Day!