Kiss it and Make it better

Kids say the darnest things...

Dialogue between my nephew and his mom.

Nephew: Mommy I have a boo boo.
Mom: Aww... You want me to kiss it and make better?
Nephew: Yeah will you kiss it mommy?
Mom: Of course son, anything for you.
Nephew: Mommy, kiss my butt...

NOW THAT is PRICELESS!!!

Cookie time

Another Nephew Story

I went to my dad's house again last night for a small little birthday bash for his girlfriends daughter with just my family and her family. It was nice and quiet at first. We went to a Mongolian barbecue and I stuffed myself with tons of noodles and meat. Nothing real exciting to blog about. Well at least not until my youngest nephew started getting that I'm tired but I refuse to go to sleep cause I know you'll have fun without me grumpiness going on.

You parents out there know what I am talking about. First he wants to sit on "Nanny's" Lap, then he wants to sit on "GreePa's" lap. Next he wants to sit on the floor. He's going from here to there and telling us what he wants to do, but doing the exact opposite. This is all within three minutes. We finally got him to settle down in "Nanny's" lap and was starting to fall asleep.

It was at this point the waitress decides, "Hey guess what it is cookie time."

"Woman are you effing mad?! Can't you see we have a 18 month old stubbling around? Do you not know what fracas you are about to cause bringing sweets to a table within site of him? I blame you for what is about to happen next!"

The insanity hit before that plate even hit the table. I kid you not when I say this, but the plate had to be an inch from the table, when my nephews eyes popped open and bugged out. Instinct told him there were sweets within grasp and he was not going to miss it.

Before anyone could even grasp the concept of wanting to have a cookie themselves, he looked over the plate and pointed to the cookie he wanted. They were these little mini cookies. Some were chocolate chip and the other half were white chocolate chip, but since white chocolate chip was foreign to him, he went with plain chocolate chip (this will be key later).

He gets his cookie and he was happy, as were we. The rest of the table then gets some cookies and by the time we had our selection down. There were 3 white chocolate chip cookies left.

Nephew, after finishing his first cookie, naturally wants another one. So he gets up, walks over to where the plate is looks at me and with the saddest eyes asks if he can have another cookie. Looking over to mom to make sure it's ok, I grab the plate and bring it to his level to let him choose.

He looks it over, sees that there are no plain chocolate chip cookies left, begins to cry. Mommy instinct takes over and she begins to ask him "What's wrong, I thought you wanted a cookie".

Satan himself would of been scared at what happened next.

He sat there, bugged his eyes out, rose his eyebrows 6 inches above his head into little horns, turned his face purple and screamed "I don't want that cookie!!!!"

Um... Check Please!!
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Now playing: Gym Class Heroes - On My Own Time (Write On!)
via FoxyTunes

That Boy is SMART!!!

Yeah that is MY NEPHEW!!

My youngest sister and her son, who is a year and a half, are in town for two weeks on vacation and we were catching up last night over dinner with the rest of the family. He's a very smart kid for his age and is aware of EVERYTHING going on around him.

While eating some of the best chicken I've had in a long long long time, mother and son were telling numerous stories of things that had happened recently. Most were cute little stories about balls and cars and other little boy stories that you just can't help but laugh at. I'm serious, how can you not laugh at someone that young telling a story about the new police car toy he got with the enthusiasm of a 30 yr old winning the lottery. Talk about excitement.

During one of those stories, he begin to tell of a car that he had seen one day that was going really fast. And then out of that little boys mouth came the following words (spelled the exact way they came out of his mouth) "And the caar went scccccuuuuurrrr". That boy just described a car coming to a sudden stop with a sound that was almost realistic. I'm telling you that boy is a genius.

Bill Gates... go ahead... pass the torch now. It's inevitable. You are going down!!!