The Good, The Great, and the Hurting

I'm having fun Y'all!!

I know what some of you are thinking... JP?! What the hell?! Why do you always disappear on us? What are we not good enough for you anymore?

Well to be honest... No!

Kidding!!!! I KID!!

Honestly, it's because I am so busy and I don't have internet connection at home so it's only when I am work that I can update everyone. That being said... Time for an update.

The Good.
I'm having so much fun right now. From playing kickball and softball, to working my two jobs, to the warmer weather feeling oh so good. Life is GOOD. And of course buying and selling friends, and having Human Pets on Facebook is always entertaining. Plus I have all my friends that are a drunken text or dial away that always keep a smile on my face.

The Great.
It's looking like I have joined a pretty good softball team this year. We had our first game this past Friday night and let's just say this. Despite the score of the second game(we won both games 15-3 and 9-7), we kicked ass!! I play in a coed league, where you are only as strong as the girls on your team, and our girls are pretty good. PLUS, my kickball team finally won a game this week.

The Hurting.

1. Injury #1. As much fun as I have been having, I have been been using muscles that I have not used in a long time and so I am becoming increasingly sore. I think I may of even strained a muscle in my leg and it looks a little swollen. I'll play through the pain though cause I am pimp like that.
2. Injury #2. During the softball game, while sliding into second base, the peg holding the base came out of the ground and rubbed against my leg, leaving a nice long red trail of skin and blood. I'll live though. I only had to cut my leg off below the knee. One leg is always better than none.
3. Potential Hurting. I am also going to begin a workout program in the near future. I had to take a break during the fall and winter of last year because of my work schedule, but I have reduced that so I can get back in shape. And for those of you interested.... Yes I will be posting pictures.

So there you have. JP's update for the past week and a half. Expect more soon. It'll be a slack week at the office, and I'll probably have a drink or two during the week. Drunk text/dial recipients be ready.

I'm such a dork

Sip. Step. Step. Sip. Step. Step. Sip. Step. Step.

Yesterday, I did one of my spontaneous actions that got a slight laugh out of my co-workers.

I had just made a cup of JP Mocha (hot chocolate and coffee) and was walking towards my desk. Since I filled the cup to the brim, and I didn't want it spilling. I would take 2 steps, stop, and then take a sip. I then followed with 2 more steps, stopping, and taking a sip. I did this whole routine through 6 sips.

After my 2 sip, I just so happened to walk past a co-workers desk and he was noticing my routine. This is the conversation that followed.

Co-Worker: That coffee must be amazing! You can't go 2 steps without taking a sip.

No: Actually, the coffee is ok. I just wanted to show you that I have My Drink N My Two Step. Now I'm gonna go home, get the Patron, and tell em it's on.

Gawd, I can be such a dork sometimes......

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Listening to: Cassidy - My Drink N' My 2 Step
via FoxyTunes

NEXT Ink!

My NEXT tattoo!

WTF?!!

Red all the way!

This is a forward of a picture message that my ex sent me this weekend. After looking at the picture, here is the list of questions I have come up with for her....

1. Um, doesn't all the way indicate something along the lines of all of your hair and not just part of it? Or did you just run out of dye?
   
2. Are you insane? What on God's green earth makes you think that is attractive?
3. Will you be directing construction traffic for the next couple of months?
4. Are you sure you weren't in a nuclear accident and that is the result of the radiation?
5. Don't you think Dusty the Wonder Dog would like his dog collar back?
   
6. Of all people, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SEND THAT TO ME?! I know we are civil and all, but I just ate dinner. I'd like to keep it in my stomach.
   

What does America have that no other country has?

Answer: WHITE TRASH PEOPLE

I would like to think that I am not a judgmental person, but there are some things people should not do, and when I see them I have got to comment.

Yesterday was one of those days.

On my way back to the office from my lunch break, I ran into the grocery store to get some band aids for my paper cut fingers. How was I to know I was going to need gauze for my eyes too.

There it was in front of me when I walked in. The most hideous disgusting thing I've seen since my early morning constitutional. WHITE TRASH

Ladies, for the sake of yourself and those around you, please DO NOT ever wear a wife beater meant for a man 6'6 tall if you are only 5'2. And if you ever are really crunked up and think that is ok to do,PLEASE also do us the favor of washing the bra you are wearing. Dirty white just does not look good on white skin, I don't care what hallucinogen you are on.

P.S.
I do want to give a White Trash Shout Out to Imogen's Mom's Sister. May all your teeth turn black by the time you are 30.

P.P.S. Feel free to comment with your White Trash Moments if you'd like.