I'm such a dork

Sip. Step. Step. Sip. Step. Step. Sip. Step. Step.

Yesterday, I did one of my spontaneous actions that got a slight laugh out of my co-workers.

I had just made a cup of JP Mocha (hot chocolate and coffee) and was walking towards my desk. Since I filled the cup to the brim, and I didn't want it spilling. I would take 2 steps, stop, and then take a sip. I then followed with 2 more steps, stopping, and taking a sip. I did this whole routine through 6 sips.

After my 2 sip, I just so happened to walk past a co-workers desk and he was noticing my routine. This is the conversation that followed.

Co-Worker: That coffee must be amazing! You can't go 2 steps without taking a sip.

No: Actually, the coffee is ok. I just wanted to show you that I have My Drink N My Two Step. Now I'm gonna go home, get the Patron, and tell em it's on.

Gawd, I can be such a dork sometimes......

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Listening to: Cassidy - My Drink N' My 2 Step
via FoxyTunes

White Trash Award of the Week

This one is an honorary award really, but I think she also deserves it.

This weeks winner is not a normal entry. She has done nothing really crazy to win the award. She hasn't slept with every guy in her trailer park (at least not that I know of). She hasn't let her children stain her furniture with poop (read 8 "paragraph's down). She hasn't had a drugged-drunken episode where she's had sex in the lawn i.e. Christina Ricci in Black Snake Moan. Hell she didn't throw herself at me when I stayed on her comfortable couch when I was on vacation in August.

So why does she deserve the award you ask?

It was for one simple reason.... She used the word "RAD" twice in one week. I have not heard that word since my middle school days (and that was a long time ago). I didn't think anyone used it, but apparently she is still stuck in the late 80's on this one.

So, TABBIE, aka The Ambiguous Blob, aka (insert real name here), you are this week's White Trash Award Winner. Cherish it, love it, take care of it, and don't take it for granted. I know how much you really wanted it.

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Now playing: Wisin & Yandel & John Correa - Como Tu No Hay Nadie
via FoxyTunes

A return of the White Trash Award of the Week

Plus a kickball update too...This time they are actually mashed together in one big um mashed up ball.

First the kickball update.

As many of you know, my kickball team made it into the playoffs and had our first tournament game Wednesday night. While we did make some good plays in the field, we also let our heads get out of the game a little and ended up losing 4-2.

It was a really good season and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I plan on playing again in the spring.

But onto to what everyone wants to hear about....

MISS WHITE TRASH OF THE WEEK!!

In our last inning with a chance to get closer in the game, AG (a female on the team) came up to kick. There was a runner on base and she was determined to score him. On the 3rd or 4th pitch, she kicked a foul ball that was awfully close to being called a double kick, but was not (a double kick is when you kick the ball and it bounces in a way that it hits you before it travels very far). Obviously the team on the other side wanted the call and started yelling about it. One of their players had been called out on a double kick earlier in the game and decide she would say something. Her words were along the lines of:

"That's a double kick. How can you call me out and not call her out. Hell I'm prettier than her she is, she should be out."

Effing Bitch. I'm surprised AG didn't attack the girl right there. She was definitely pissed about it that is for sure. I think it took everything in her to not pull the girls obviously bleached hair from the roots.

You Miss Bleach Blonde bitch are this week's WHITE TRASH OF THE WEEK.

Award Winning....

See White Trash is Funny...

Everyone's favorite White Trash hero won the award for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series. I'd like to thank Wal-Mart for providing her a dress to wear for the LOW LOW LOW Price of $19.99. Way to go Jaime.

My White Trash Hero

Thank you Charmed!!!! You have no idea what you just started.


"Just once. It was before Cd's. Don't Judge Me"


"Listen, now I know on the outside I look like a sweety sweetheart, but trust me on the inside, I'm 100% bitch. I even have a T-shirt that says it. Got it as a Mother's Day present."


"You'd be laughing if you could see how I spelled that in my head"


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Now playing on iTunes: Ludacris - Slap
via FoxyTunes

Friday's Trash

My Weekly installments of White Trash Viewings.

This week, I've a couple of sights that I could tell you about.

I've seen the 300 pound woman wearing a tube top smaller with less material than I have in my socks.
I've seen the teenage dirty blond girl that flirts with anything with a penis.
I've been to the house that permeates of pet dander from the second you open the door.
And then there was JOSE OFFERMAN (don't say it, color really has nothing to do with someone being white trash).

But this week, I am once again going with a humorous little water ink delight that I found.

Next week I promise to go back to human beings.

Friday's Trash

No new sights but a great pic.

Haven't had many white trash sightings this week, but I did come along a great cartoon of White Trash that I'd love to share with you.

Say hello to my dream trailer park ho in water color ink...


And then Imogen's Mom Sent me this....


Who's White Trash Now?! It's ok I still love her.
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Now playing on iTunes: Evanescence - Cloud Nine
via FoxyTunes

Trash Part 2

Q: What do you get when you bring the trash out of the trailer park?
A: Trash with Class.

(The Ambiguous Blob this is just for you)

Another lunch break another trash siting. This time I was in a mall, eating my Chik-Fil-A club sammich minding my own business when it happened.

Imagine if you will, a woman in her early 60's, 5'3 tall, a cane in one hand, a purse in the other. Now imagine her with the perkiest set of tits you've ever seen in your life. I swear this lady must of just gotten a boob job. Wrinkles everywhere except for the two flesh mounds on her chest.

And how do I know this? She was wearing one of the those low cut, cleavage wearing shirts, that I love seeing at the bar on a 20-30 year old, but not on a mall shopping Martha Stewart.

As my eyes followed her across the room, I could not believe it...

P.S. From the response that I got from my first trash story, there will be many more to come. Simply because, lets be honest, whether you are white, black, hispanic, asian, or blacktino, there is a little white trash in all of us.

What does America have that no other country has?

Answer: WHITE TRASH PEOPLE

I would like to think that I am not a judgmental person, but there are some things people should not do, and when I see them I have got to comment.

Yesterday was one of those days.

On my way back to the office from my lunch break, I ran into the grocery store to get some band aids for my paper cut fingers. How was I to know I was going to need gauze for my eyes too.

There it was in front of me when I walked in. The most hideous disgusting thing I've seen since my early morning constitutional. WHITE TRASH

Ladies, for the sake of yourself and those around you, please DO NOT ever wear a wife beater meant for a man 6'6 tall if you are only 5'2. And if you ever are really crunked up and think that is ok to do,PLEASE also do us the favor of washing the bra you are wearing. Dirty white just does not look good on white skin, I don't care what hallucinogen you are on.

P.S.
I do want to give a White Trash Shout Out to Imogen's Mom's Sister. May all your teeth turn black by the time you are 30.

P.P.S. Feel free to comment with your White Trash Moments if you'd like.