I talked to you for how long?

The cell phone is a very dangerous thing when I have been drinking.....

Yeah you heard me... dangerous. Just ask the 10 people I called after 2 am on Saturday morning.

I remember talking to 2 of the people. I am hazy on everything else. When I called to apologize to everyone, one person told me that I talked to them for 25 minutes and that I was one funny bastard.

I even called a couple co-workers. Yeah... let's just say, the next day at work was just a little awkward.

So note to everyone that I talk to... either change your number or don't give me your phone number, or one of these days, sometime after the 2 o'clock hour on a Saturday or Sunday morning, you'll be getting a phone call from a very drunken JP.

I hope she gets a twitch....

and takes a bite....

The other day, I went out with a female friend of mine that I had known since my senior in high school. When Recon Man asked what I was up to. Here is the exchange that followed:

Me: I'm heading out with OHSF (Old High School Friend for the anagram challenged)
RM: You @#$% her yet.
Me: No, I told you before. We are friends, that is it, that is all it'll ever be.
RM: You need to get on that.
Me: No we are friends.
RM: When's the last time you got some?
Me: ___ ago.
RM: How much did she cost you?
Me: @#$% You!!
RM: HAHA
Me: I hope you get none tonight!
RM: HAHA
Me: I hope she is on her period tonight!
RM: She is, but I'll still some if you know what I mean.
Me: @#$% You!!
RM: HAHA
Me: I hope she gets a twitch and take a bite out of your @#$%!

Asshole!!! HAHA!!!