My Poor Baby!!!!

The July 4th weekend is usually filled with fun, friends, booze, and of course fireworks. But for some unlucky individuals it is also filled with car accidents, busted fenders, and curbside vomit. Such was the case for me this weekend.

It started of innocently enough. Dodgeball at 7pm, shower at 830, and then off to party at 930.

Then all of a sudden, the laughter and fun changed changed as at around 5 in the morning, I started sneezing. I'll let the following pictures give you an idea of what happened next....


Luckily for me and the other party involved, no one was hurt. Hell even when the police officer showed up, he didn't have a real reason to file a report (that or he was just really lazy and didn't feel like dealing with it).

*UPDATE* I'm so glad I have full coverage on my car. The total amount of work that is going to be done is going to cost $2100 (I have a $500 dollar deductible).

Seriously Guys It's just a game.

I'm still pretty busy over here, but I'll try better I promise.

Last night my mens softball team won again. We are now 11-1, with 2 more games to play and we've already clinched the division title. I expect to see some players rested and everybody getting some substantial time in the field in our next game. There was a incident however last night that kind made the game a little less than fun.

In the first game, one of our players was on his way to base and everyone knew he was going to be tagged out. Unfortunately, when he was running he slipped, and he got tagged in the face unintentionally. He knew, the guy that tagged him knew it, our team knew it, the other team knew it. Well except for their teams pitcher. After the play, he decided that it would be best to yell at the guy that tagged our runner for dirty play. What followed was a 10 minute argument that we were afraid was about to come to blows. Words were exchanged, names were called and language was used. And for the next hour these two men were pissed and could not be near each other.

And what is worse? IT IS A CHURCH LEAGUE. We pray (moment of silence for some) before and after the game and they still acted like this.

Good going guys. Way to be an example. Especially with kids right there watching.

I *cough* am going *cough cough* to the *cough hack cough* beach

... and will come back smelling like a campfire.

Over the past couple of weeks, we've been experiencing a somewhat daily air problem: Smoke from one or both of the 2 wildfires that are burning in Virginia and North Carolina. It has gotten so bad that all of the elderly homes in the area have put a kibosh on all outdoor activity. People have been confined to four walls and windows only to look outside and see a fog-like haze blanketing the area. It was so bad this morning, that there were patches of smoke coming off the ground that gave the impression that they were on fire themselves. What's worse is that there is no end in sight at this time. One of the fires is located in the Great Dismal Swamp of Chesapeake, Virginia and is starting to burn the peat layers of the swamp, which when dry, will smoke and smolder for months.

I will say though, that all this smoke is making me want to go on a camping trip. Anyone want to come?

Also - For those of you that are interested:

1. Kickball is over for the spring and unfortunately, our team was not one of the better teams and only won 3 out of 10 games and had to forfeit our playoff game because we could not field enough players.
2. The co-ed softball team is playing will and we have fought our way to a 4-4 record. Despite only having 9 players for our set of games this past Friday, we were able to split the two games, losing 9-6 in the first game and winning the second game 14-4.
3. The male softball team is kicking tail and we now have a 7-1 record and are tied for 1st place with the other 7-1 team in our division. That team's 1 loss is attributed to us, and our 1 loss came at their hands.
4. And finally, dodgeball starts this week and I have been practicing with wrenches and for the past couple of weeks. My doctors cleared me last night saying that it was only a mild concussion and that my boys will heal themselves over time.
   

What does it say about you?...

When you are driving a convertible Porsche and you are sucking your thumb?

And I'm not talking the maybe you are biting your nails or pricked your thumb type of sucking. I'm talking mouth filling, like you are sucking on (use your imagination here) type of sucking.

Sun, Fun, and Nearly Asleep Sayings

Memorial Day weekends is the unofficial kickoff of the summer season. It's usually when the average person starts having weekend Bar-B-Q's outside and the official start of the warm weather tourists season. Most people travel to see loved ones and friends. Some stay home and have a cookout or visit the beach, the lake or some other place where you can find relaxation. And for some it's that time of year when they forget to wear the sunblock and turn into a human radish and hate anyone that tries to even think about touching them.

For me I had a little bit of everything. From traveling to see some friends, a trip to the beach, and then a search for any type of aloe lotion that will lie to you and tell you it will heal your sunburn almost instantly. God I love summer!

Hi. My name is John. Nice to meet you.

This weekend I had the privilege of meeting one of my favorite bloggers; Catherinette. Let me tell you guys, she is the same away from her blog. I'm not just talking the quick witted comments or the "boozy suzy" part either. I'm talking the 14 yr old teenage girl trapped in a "older" body (I'm not gonna reveal her age). Want proof?

Scenario #1:
While at dinner with Catherinette and another blogger, Newmie, at Claddagh Pub in Baltimore, we somehow got on the conversation about CS's unhealthy fear of squirrels. Our waiter (who by the way was a barrel of laughs. And by barrel of laughs I mean he obviously had no interest in serving us) told us a story about an old man surrounded by the furry little devils "eating nuts" out of his hand. We then switch subjects and just as the waiter leaves, CS comes up with this gold nugget:

OK, I just have to back up to what the waiter said about eating nuts out of his hand and say..... THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

Scenario #2:
At same dinner, where I ordered a steak, I mention to the table. "Mmm this meat is good" and with out missing a beat I hear the infamous phrase: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

This continued for the entire time and I, being a guy, was laughing at every single one.

I'm thinking of a black cat..... And then Sebastian saved the squirrel.

Those close to me know that if I am having a conversation with someone late at night and I get to that where I am a second from falling asleep, I will start to speak nonsense. Such was the case on Saturday night.

After a day filled with a trip to an art museum, a nice little coffee shop near Federal Hill in Baltimore, a trip to Wegmans (my absolute favorite place to get food for any reason), and to a wine vineyard, I was just a little tired. During a conversation with some friends, my exhaustion started to over take me and then I uttered the phrase above.

I'm so glad that those there with me could get a laugh on my behalf.

Ok, why didn't you pack the freaking sunblock?!

While I had such a great time in Baltimore, my day in D.C. left me a little sore. And I'm talking sore in that I know look like a lobster. A freaking cooked lobster that is sitting on your plate, red as hell, ready to be eaten. For some reason, I keep forgetting that 3hrs in direct sun watching a baseball game, will make your skin a wonderfully red hue, and even more red when you forget to wear sunblock.

So for the past 2 days, I've been applying an ungodly amount of Aloe Vera to make the pain go away and keep from looking like a snake coming out of my skin a week from now. Now I feel like I'm all sweaty and sticky.

"That's what she said"

I'm looking... *UPDATE*

At something that looks really good. So good that I want some. I want it really really bad. Matter of fact I think I will go get some.

If you know me... you know what is.

Let's see how well you do know me.

WELL.... Since I've given everyone some time to stew on this... I guess I should answer the question.

I am looking at... a... piece... of... GERMAN CHOCOLATE CAKE!

Unfortunately it was really nasty and I couldn't finish it....

I thought I've had bad days.

Taken from something I read on Facebook...

Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy...

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, which was sponsoring a "worst job experience"
contest. Needless to say, she won.

"Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as
fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach
the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job." And whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself: is this a "jellyfish bad" day?"