Sun, Fun, and Nearly Asleep Sayings

Memorial Day weekends is the unofficial kickoff of the summer season. It's usually when the average person starts having weekend Bar-B-Q's outside and the official start of the warm weather tourists season. Most people travel to see loved ones and friends. Some stay home and have a cookout or visit the beach, the lake or some other place where you can find relaxation. And for some it's that time of year when they forget to wear the sunblock and turn into a human radish and hate anyone that tries to even think about touching them.

For me I had a little bit of everything. From traveling to see some friends, a trip to the beach, and then a search for any type of aloe lotion that will lie to you and tell you it will heal your sunburn almost instantly. God I love summer!

Hi. My name is John. Nice to meet you.

This weekend I had the privilege of meeting one of my favorite bloggers; Catherinette. Let me tell you guys, she is the same away from her blog. I'm not just talking the quick witted comments or the "boozy suzy" part either. I'm talking the 14 yr old teenage girl trapped in a "older" body (I'm not gonna reveal her age). Want proof?

Scenario #1:
While at dinner with Catherinette and another blogger, Newmie, at Claddagh Pub in Baltimore, we somehow got on the conversation about CS's unhealthy fear of squirrels. Our waiter (who by the way was a barrel of laughs. And by barrel of laughs I mean he obviously had no interest in serving us) told us a story about an old man surrounded by the furry little devils "eating nuts" out of his hand. We then switch subjects and just as the waiter leaves, CS comes up with this gold nugget:

OK, I just have to back up to what the waiter said about eating nuts out of his hand and say..... THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

Scenario #2:
At same dinner, where I ordered a steak, I mention to the table. "Mmm this meat is good" and with out missing a beat I hear the infamous phrase: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

This continued for the entire time and I, being a guy, was laughing at every single one.

I'm thinking of a black cat..... And then Sebastian saved the squirrel.

Those close to me know that if I am having a conversation with someone late at night and I get to that where I am a second from falling asleep, I will start to speak nonsense. Such was the case on Saturday night.

After a day filled with a trip to an art museum, a nice little coffee shop near Federal Hill in Baltimore, a trip to Wegmans (my absolute favorite place to get food for any reason), and to a wine vineyard, I was just a little tired. During a conversation with some friends, my exhaustion started to over take me and then I uttered the phrase above.

I'm so glad that those there with me could get a laugh on my behalf.

Ok, why didn't you pack the freaking sunblock?!

While I had such a great time in Baltimore, my day in D.C. left me a little sore. And I'm talking sore in that I know look like a lobster. A freaking cooked lobster that is sitting on your plate, red as hell, ready to be eaten. For some reason, I keep forgetting that 3hrs in direct sun watching a baseball game, will make your skin a wonderfully red hue, and even more red when you forget to wear sunblock.

So for the past 2 days, I've been applying an ungodly amount of Aloe Vera to make the pain go away and keep from looking like a snake coming out of my skin a week from now. Now I feel like I'm all sweaty and sticky.

"That's what she said"

Ok that really hurts.

I'm not kidding either.

This weekend I tweaked something in my knee and I'm in serious pain right now. I can't walk, stand, or get out of a chair without cringing from the feeling that I have. I almost dropped a pizza right on a customer as I was delivering it to them. I told them I slipped and they believed me.

I feel as if someone is stabbing my knee from behind and keeps doing it in hopes I will fall to the ground crying. But.... They will not win. This is not the first time that I have had this happen and it probably won't be the last, but I will make it. It usually comes and goes and right now I'm waiting for it to go.

Is it just me...

or is Rumplemintz like Extacy in liquid form?

I think it is.

----------------
Now playing: Jason Mraz - Good Orderly Direction
via FoxyTunes

The Good, The Great, and the Hurting

I'm having fun Y'all!!

I know what some of you are thinking... JP?! What the hell?! Why do you always disappear on us? What are we not good enough for you anymore?

Well to be honest... No!

Kidding!!!! I KID!!

Honestly, it's because I am so busy and I don't have internet connection at home so it's only when I am work that I can update everyone. That being said... Time for an update.

The Good.
I'm having so much fun right now. From playing kickball and softball, to working my two jobs, to the warmer weather feeling oh so good. Life is GOOD. And of course buying and selling friends, and having Human Pets on Facebook is always entertaining. Plus I have all my friends that are a drunken text or dial away that always keep a smile on my face.

The Great.
It's looking like I have joined a pretty good softball team this year. We had our first game this past Friday night and let's just say this. Despite the score of the second game(we won both games 15-3 and 9-7), we kicked ass!! I play in a coed league, where you are only as strong as the girls on your team, and our girls are pretty good. PLUS, my kickball team finally won a game this week.

The Hurting.

1. Injury #1. As much fun as I have been having, I have been been using muscles that I have not used in a long time and so I am becoming increasingly sore. I think I may of even strained a muscle in my leg and it looks a little swollen. I'll play through the pain though cause I am pimp like that.
2. Injury #2. During the softball game, while sliding into second base, the peg holding the base came out of the ground and rubbed against my leg, leaving a nice long red trail of skin and blood. I'll live though. I only had to cut my leg off below the knee. One leg is always better than none.
3. Potential Hurting. I am also going to begin a workout program in the near future. I had to take a break during the fall and winter of last year because of my work schedule, but I have reduced that so I can get back in shape. And for those of you interested.... Yes I will be posting pictures.

So there you have. JP's update for the past week and a half. Expect more soon. It'll be a slack week at the office, and I'll probably have a drink or two during the week. Drunk text/dial recipients be ready.

My last post *UPDATE*

Farewell to you all.

Today will be my last post. Last night I decided to give up blogging. This decision stems from an arguement that I had last night with someone I care about. She is near and dear to me and was very offended by a couple of the posts. I have tried to use abbreviations and false names, but she always knew what was going on. So for the sanctity of my relationship with her, I will be ending my blog. For those that you that I have come into contact with and have developed a friendship, you have my cell and most likely I have yours. For those of you that don't I'm sorry and I bid you adieu.

Thank You for the fun times.

JP

*UPDATE*
God I love April Fools Day!

HA!! *UPDATE*

Well I guess I better stop blogging and go cry in a corner. Pfft!!

You know I absolutely love it when people feel the need to just come out and tell you what they think. Especially when you really didn't ask or care for their opinion.

Whenever I post here, I make an effort to add a link to my myspace so some of my friends can take a glance at what I write. It gives them a chance to look see what I am doing and the things I go through. (I know I could do that in myspace, but it's so much easier here).

Yesterday was no different, when I put the link up for my EVERYBODY STOP post. This morning I got a myspace message concerning that post:

"ur blogs suck"

Really? Wow. I guess I better stop blogging and go cry in a corner now. Thank you so much for this very constructive criticism. I promise I will do better just to make sure you are happy. Would you like to proof read all of my blogs to make sure they don't suck anymore? Would you please oh please oh blog master show me how it's done? Oh wait you don't write anything you fat tub o lard. You apparently like to just sit back and critique things that you read.

I'm so glad I really don't care what anyone thinks about anything I do. Cause you know, that statement would of really hurt if I really gave a shit.

If anyone else who reads my blog really feels that way, I have a small suggestion for you, STOP READING! And if you feel like commenting on my writing abilities, please feel free to do so. Just know, that I will respond and tell you how much I care.

----------------
Listening to: 3 Doors Down - Live for Today
via FoxyTunes

*UPDATE*

Ok so I have to make a retraction now. Apparently when I read my friends comment about my blog, I must of be so tired I couldn't tell if she was joking or not.

Here is the subsuquent exchange of messages:

From: (insert name here)
Date: Jan 16, 2008 9:30 PM

lol was a joke.. and i knew id get something back with a negative comment.. when i gave you a positive comment on the last blog you never comented back.. just thought id see what id get with the negative...and i was right.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: The Infamous JP:
Date: Jan 16, 2008 4:28 AM


can't make everyone happy now can I?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: (insert name here)
Date: Jan 15, 2008 9:30 PM


ur blogs suck

Someone feels like a D-bag. Guess who that is.
----------------
Listening to: Black Eyed Peas - Anxiety
via FoxyTunes

Busted!!

Note to self: Don't accidentally leave a link to your blog on your work computer.

I was busted today!

No it was not for something illegal.
I did not cheat on someone (have to be involved to do that).
I was not looking at porn at work.

This morning, while my boss was giving me some work to, he asked me a question.

"JP, Why do you have to have a second job? Don't we pay you enough?"

I turned a noticeable shade of red, as I had now been outed. Instead of lying about or asking how he knew, I just told, him

"That's my fun money. I don't want to waste my hard earned money on the fun things I do. Besides, I only work 4 hours a pop and it's only on the weekends"

Then he surprised me even more when he said.

"And I understand your California trip didn't go as smoothly as you wanted it to. So did you at least get the number to the guy from the car rental place"

He found my blog everyone. Apparently I had somehow left a link to it on my computer and someone found it.

I am so busted!!!

I was reminiscing today.

And I just sat and remembered.

Something today triggered some memories of the past this morning, and I hit that reminiscing mode again. As I get older, it seems easier to look back at my life and think about years past.

Today I was brought back to a very calm and relaxing day in my life. The memory was as vivid as if it happened yesterday. I could almost smell the air and hear the sounds of that day. Every year about this time of year, that day comes back to me. It doesn't haunt me or make me wish I could go back and change things like some memories do. I don't want to re-live that day or go back and be in that place or time again. I have grown and changed since then so it would be fruitless and useless.

So what is so important about that day? It was nothing spectacular. Not even exciting. Nobody I know died or was born on that day. I didn't meet someone knew, or tell someone I loved them. I wasn't someones hero, nor did I need to be rescued. It wasn't even a newsworthy day. But, for some reason that day seemed like a turning point in my life, and I don't know why.


So today I will cherish the memory. Soak up the smell and feeling of it. I will close my eyes and return to the day. Take in the vision of the air, the trees, and the ground around me. I will own this day like no other, and nothing and no one can take it away from me.

I thank God for that day.

----------------
Now playing: Jason Mraz - Absolutely Zero
via FoxyTunes

Touchy Subjects.

I am about to tackle one.

*Disclaimer: If you decide not to read my blog again after reading this. I'm sorry you feel that way. I am a white male. I make no apologies for that. I enjoy spending time with friends. Many of which are not white. I don't see color. I see habits. I see actions. And if you act like an idiot, walk like an idiot, then guess what? You are an idiot.

Over the past couple of days, I have been debating whether or not I should voice my opinions concerning the Jena 6 subject. I have my opinion and some may call me a racist, and some may just agree with me. I will not sit here and begin by trying to explain how I am not racist by having black friends or sugar coating what I have to say. Everyone has a negative feelings about some aspects of a different race. You are lying if you say you don't. How many people have looked at a person of Arab descent and immediately thought terrorist? How many people have looked at a group of 4-5 black men and thought, they are up to no good? What about the Mexican down the street? I bet you think he is working somewhere in construction for peanuts, taking the job of a much higher paid person. We've all been guilty. Stop lying and face the facts.

That being said, I'll explain to you now why I have decided to make this post.

Last night, on a local news broadcast, there was a video shown of 7 black kids attacking a white kid in the middle of the street. None of the 7 were arrested or charged as of yet. And they should be. The attack was unprovoked and all eye witness accounts of the events said, that the reason for the attack was.... because the kid was white.

This is the cause for many "race-related" fights all to often. The color of someone's skin.

As was the case in Jena, La. 6 black teenagers attacked a white male. They beat the kid to the point of unconsciousness. They kicked and kicked and kicked at someone who could not defend himself.

And then those same kids got arrested. As they deserved to be. They got tried. As they deserved to be. And there were convictions. As there ought to have been.

We hear stories of a "white tree". A label that the parents will tell you is true, but the teachers at the school will tell you is false.

Then we hear about 3 nooses on a tree(there were actually 2), that when hung were used by students (both white and black) more as a rope swing until school authorities ordered to be taken down, when students started putting their heads through the loops.

And next we hear that the students who hung the noose were only suspended 3 days. When in actuality, they were also given in school suspension for two weeks as well as being sent to an alternative school for about a month.

Mychal Bell, the one student in the center of the whole distpute, was indeed an honor student with a high grade point average. However, to say he didn't have a criminal record is untrue. He was in fact on probation for previous battery charges and criminal property damage.

I will concede, however, that it is pretty widely known by the people who live there that blacks in the community tend to be treated more harsh than whites. Authorities do need to look into the practices of the system there.

In my opinion, I think that each and every one of the students involved in the beating, need to punished. They committed a crime and they need to do the time. Do they deserve to be tried as adults? Not unless there were adults when the attack happened. Do they deserve 20 yrs or 100yrs of prison? No. But they do need to punished. If this is the first offense, which for some it is not, then put them on probation. If there are habitual offenders, as it appears Mychal Bell is, then they deserve to spend time behind bars. I don't care they were black, white, latino, or asian.

In a country where we demand that celebrities get no special treatment and that we demand that politicians immediately resign if they have a lapse in judgment. How dare we demand that criminals who are guilty go free?

Admit it, we are a hypocritical nation. What would we be protesting if we reversed the colors in the situation, or if Mychal Bell was the victim of 6 white students? What if instead of nooses being hung, there were Klan hats being hung? What if we heard that Mychal Bell had called one of the white guy a "honky" or a "cracker"? Would we still be outraged if those white students were to be tried as adults?

I don't think so.

Aliens have landed.

Proof I do have a heart.

This little creature, while ugly, almost scary looking and easily at about 4 inches wide, is still alive. That's what happens when you leave me alone and don't invade my space. You hear that Tony? Oh wait Tony's dead.

Writers Block

I have no material this week.

Seriously, there is nothing exciting, educational, or relatively humorous for me to write about this week. I have tried 3 times and each time I come up with nothing. This is what information I have, and it's giving me zippo.

1. Imogen's Mom had a birthday (soon she'll join the 30 and over crowd like me).
2. TTT is moving out.
3. I'm almost completely moved in.
   
4. Boobs, Injuries and Dr. Pepper, is by far the funniest blogger I have ever read.
5. When doing a Google search for "Infamous JP", my blog is the first link that comes up.
6. My kickball team lost this week 4-3, and we are now 0-2.
   
   

SEE nothing of remote interest. I hate weeks like this. I think it's because I am sick.

----------------
Now playing: Matisyahu - King Without A Crown
via FoxyTunes

----------------
Now playing: Gym Class Heroes - Biters Block
via FoxyTunes

John it is...

And I thought I was being creative.

After two weeks of voting, the polls have closed and it was a landslide. Much to my chagrin, My favorite nickname was thoroughly defeated by a whopping 5 votes. So from this day forward, I will address myself as John.

I will not however change my blog title. You don't like it you can kiss my natural "I may be white, but I'm not black" ass!!

Now for the next poll question.....

<========

I was Tagged

I am doing this, yet I don't know why...

TAG! The rules are: Once you have been tagged, you write a blog with ten, weird, random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end you choose 10 people to be tagged, list their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave a comment that says, "You are tagged" and tell them to read your latest blog.

1. I shave only once a week (on Sundays) simply because I like to have the scruff look on Fridays and Saturdays.
2. I’m older than one of my uncle’s. How scary is that.
3. I once brought 4 can of green beans with me on a trip to Jamaica and ate all of them right out of the can.
4. I have had my bed for 5 years now and have only slept on it for a year.
5. I was married for 15 months. She was married for 4.
6. I refuse to ever go through a McDonalds drive through again. They always take too long and never get it right. Hell I don’t know why I even still eat there.
7. I have deleted my MySpace page 3 times. I have decided I will not make it 5.
8. Tequila is my friend, Vodka is my frienemy, and I think water hates me.
9. I order 2 things when I go to restaurants. Steak or Hamburgers. I will get one or the other in some fashion or another.
10. I bob my head when I am making a joke (TY Maria)
    

As for who's next...

1. Maria, because I want to see if there is something I don’t know.
2. Jackie, there has got to be something she hasn’t told me yet.
3. Sarah G, because I read her blog all the time, bout time she read mine.
4. Dezi, maybe it’ll give her something to do.
5. Sierra, cause I know she has no time on her hand to do this.
6. Sarah W., she gets real bored sometimes and she may actually do this.
7. Casey, She’s got to have something to do cause work always sucks
8. Whitney, she thinks she so smart, I don’t think she can come up with 10 things.
9. Amanda, it’s been so long since I’ve seen her. Somethings have got to have changed since she was playing with barbies in her bedroom
10. Paul cause I have to get at least one guy to do this.